"And the question is, was I more alive then than I am now?
I happily have to disagree
I laugh more often now, I cry more often now,
I am more me"
I've been having a hard time putting into words how I feel after the year we just had in London. The chorus of this Peter, Bjorn & John song Objects of my Affection has really stood out to me when it comes on my ipod, and I think it sums it up. I knew that moving to London would be a pretty big deal, that we would face some challenges, see some new stuff and have a pretty good time, but I hadn't really anticipated how much it would change me. I kinda feel like I had been living with one eye closed and now all of a sudden it's open and I can see so much more to life than what was in my view before. I don't mean that I've seen so much of the world and how other people live, because I've hardly scratched the surface and haven't even seen anywhere third world. I just mean on a completely personal level I feel like my eyes have been opened up to a multitude of directions to follow.
I think most people know I wasn't ready to leave London, I liked my most recent job and it paid enough to live there comfortably, we were settled in and having a really good time. We were also fortunate enough to not only meet some new people to hang out with, but actually make what I would consider some really great friends that I'm really going to miss. The reasons to come home made sense though, and I really appreciate Genevieve's practicality, and desire to get on with real life. But the decision was not an easy one and I am still struggling with it. It's a strange situation when you live your whole life with one basic path in mind, and then all of a sudden one or two other paths present themselves, and they look pretty good too. There's not enough years in a life to enjoy everything out there, and that sucks.
One of my favourite parts of moving to London was all the challenges it presented, and the satisfaction of conquering them. We are far from coming home with our tails between our legs, we were actually settled in quite nicely. I think the longer we were there, the easier it would have gotten and the harder it would have been to leave, so in that sense I guess I'm glad it was only a year. London is an absolutely amazing, exciting, interesting and vibrant city and I'm so happy to have gotten to know it so well.
I stop short of saying we're lucky to have had the year we just did, as a couple people have said. The only good luck I've ever had was being born in Canada to loving parents, everything after that has been worked for. Nobody helped us get to London, nobody was there to welcome us in or show us around. Everything was done through planning, trial and error, risks and rewards, and I don't give any credit to luck. It was a lot of fucking work.
I think traveling is a lot like having kids, if you wait until you are ready you'll never do it. There's always a reason not to travel, but if you really wanted to you would make it happen. Unless someone else is paying, it's never going to be easy.
Obviously a big reason to head to Alberta is to pay for the last little bit of our trip, and get started on a down payment, but it's also to pay for the next adventure. The travel bug is definitely there and the list of places to see only grows every time you cross one off. London is full of travellers, and no matter where you've been someone has been way more places and they're happy to tell you how amazing they are. I'm just hoping I can handle working up north long enough to bank enough money to have another adventure.
As much as I'm not looking forward to the cold, and I'm not a fan of Edmonton, I'm really looking forward to a new challenge and the opportunities available. I still feel kinda jacked up from our trip and there's no way I'm ready to settle back in to the life I had in Vancouver. I'm a little uncertain if I ever will be, but I've heard that's normal and maybe that will fade. I guess a year in northern Saskatchewan will send me running home a little quicker than a year in London. That being said, it was really great to see all our friends and family, to catch up on the past year of their lives and share some stories. A big thanks to anyone who put us up over those 2 weeks.
If it's not obvious, my emotions have been all over the place the past month. Between leaving our life in London, our amazing trip through Italy, coming home to BC and soon heading up north for a very hard year of work, my head is rattled. I don't know if it'll settle again, and I'm not sure I want it to. I've never been hungrier to succeed, to try new things and to squeeze every bit of life I can out of the years I have. Right now my energy is going to shift towards work, which certainly isn't as fun as traveling, but I am still excited, and I really don't know where it will take me next. I'm far from done exploring though, hopefully Genevieve is too. That's another chorus that's been getting to me the longer we have no clear home, Edward Sharp & the Magnetic Zeros, "Home is wherever I'm with you"
We're settled into Edmonton now, Genevieve starts work at Breakfast TV tomorrow, and I fly out to Cigar Lake in Saskatchewan on Friday. It's definitely interesting to see the differences between moving to London and moving to another Canadian city. Having our work experience and qualifications mean something is a nice change. City TV basically created a job in Edmonton for Genevieve, and I was actually interviewing multiple job offers the other day. It's no London, and it's cold and snowy, but our bank accounts will appreciate the effort.
A few people have asked if we'll keep this blog going. I think the subject matter would take a serious nosedive if we did, but never say never.
-Justin
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Friday, November 2, 2012
Gaining A Whole Year
It's hard to explain how much this past year of gallivanting around the globe has meant to me, and I'm positive this post won't capture what I truly feel about the whole experience, but I thought I would give it a try anyways.
To understand how much I have always wanted to travel, you have to know a little bit about my childhood; Sorry for the backstory and sentimentality about to follow.
I grew up with my Dad, stepmom, and step sister in a loving, hard working family. I never felt that I went without, I did extra curricular activities, and in the summer they would take us to Kelowna or somewhere similar for two weeks to enjoy the sun and a hotel pool. For the rest of the summer I visited my mom on Vancouver Island; swimming in the rivers and ocean, and generally enjoying my young life. It was a great upbringing and more than any girl could ask for. But what really put the travel bug in me, from the time I can remember, is that my step sister would go to far away destinations with her Dad and his family once or twice a year. I remember she often went to Hawaii for Christmas; looking at the pictures, and dreaming about the day I would one day get to do that as well. I wondered what a warm ocean felt like, and remember seeing pictures of geckos and being so fascinated by them. It was hard to see her go to so many places that I never got to, but my parents did a great job of making it seem normal for me, and as I said, it's not like I had a rough life. It was just something that really stuck with me, more than a lot of things did.
When I was 15 my family moved from Prince George to Edmonton, and I struggled to make new friends and fit in. I learned about the Rotary exchange program which places you in another country for a year to go to school and learn about their culture. I filled out all the paperwork and passionately wrote the necessary essay, but when the time came to get the parental signature my Dad wouldn't sign it. I understand his reasons but at the time, being a very hormonal and slightly displaced teenage girl, it was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I really thought it was my chance to finally go somewhere no one in my family had, and I was devastated that I couldn't. Those of you that know me well know I have an absolutely terrible memory. These are some of the very few things I remember vividly from my childhood.
Over the years through out the rest of high school and college I still always thought of traveling. I'd see so many of my friends do it and they said it was so simple once they made the decision to go; but I always had a reason not to. I thought I would go after I graduated from BCIT, but I was offered a great job the day of my graduation, and I intrinsically am far to practical of a person to turn down an opportunity like that. And that was the story up until last year - Other good things always came along and stopped me from planning anything. But part of me knew that this was something I needed to do, and if I didn't I would always dream of the 'what if'.
It's really great to have someone in your life who pushes you to break free of the boundaries you set for yourself. We all have reasons for setting these in the first place; the way you were brought up perhaps, or to protect yourself. But without Justin I can say that it is highly likely I would not have done this trip. And I am so grateful for him. Sometimes you have an idea and a plan, and nothing comes of it - not unlike all the years I dreamed of traveling and it didn't work out. And other times things just start rolling and you can't even pinpoint why this time is different. That's what happened to me last year, and before I knew it I had quit my job and packed my life into a suitcase. Facing the results of this decision now that I am home are a bit daunting, but I will never regret it, and I am an improved person for it. I am more myself now. More of who I always knew I was.
Living in London and traveling was of course amazing. All the sites and touristic things are just as you imagine they will be when you watch travel programs on TV and look at pictures from your friend's vacations. But this past year was so much more than learning how people in the UK live, and getting stamps in a passport. It was about proving I could do all the things I dreamed of, and I could come back home a better version of myself for it. Removing myself from my normal routine and familiar surroundings has taught me what my strengths and weaknesses are, and what I need to do to be a better person.
I hope that I can apply what I have discovered through out the rest of my life. I hope I don't every let myself get consumed by the bubble we so often find ourselves suffocated by. I don't think I need to keep living abroad to remember these lessons, I just think I need to keep the broader perspective I have gained and apply it to wherever I am. I'm very happy to be home and close to those that I love, and I feel privileged to have so many people in my life who care about me as much as I do them.
I look forward to seeing you all before we head to Edmonton for our next year long adventure.
Gen
To understand how much I have always wanted to travel, you have to know a little bit about my childhood; Sorry for the backstory and sentimentality about to follow.
I grew up with my Dad, stepmom, and step sister in a loving, hard working family. I never felt that I went without, I did extra curricular activities, and in the summer they would take us to Kelowna or somewhere similar for two weeks to enjoy the sun and a hotel pool. For the rest of the summer I visited my mom on Vancouver Island; swimming in the rivers and ocean, and generally enjoying my young life. It was a great upbringing and more than any girl could ask for. But what really put the travel bug in me, from the time I can remember, is that my step sister would go to far away destinations with her Dad and his family once or twice a year. I remember she often went to Hawaii for Christmas; looking at the pictures, and dreaming about the day I would one day get to do that as well. I wondered what a warm ocean felt like, and remember seeing pictures of geckos and being so fascinated by them. It was hard to see her go to so many places that I never got to, but my parents did a great job of making it seem normal for me, and as I said, it's not like I had a rough life. It was just something that really stuck with me, more than a lot of things did.
When I was 15 my family moved from Prince George to Edmonton, and I struggled to make new friends and fit in. I learned about the Rotary exchange program which places you in another country for a year to go to school and learn about their culture. I filled out all the paperwork and passionately wrote the necessary essay, but when the time came to get the parental signature my Dad wouldn't sign it. I understand his reasons but at the time, being a very hormonal and slightly displaced teenage girl, it was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I really thought it was my chance to finally go somewhere no one in my family had, and I was devastated that I couldn't. Those of you that know me well know I have an absolutely terrible memory. These are some of the very few things I remember vividly from my childhood.
Over the years through out the rest of high school and college I still always thought of traveling. I'd see so many of my friends do it and they said it was so simple once they made the decision to go; but I always had a reason not to. I thought I would go after I graduated from BCIT, but I was offered a great job the day of my graduation, and I intrinsically am far to practical of a person to turn down an opportunity like that. And that was the story up until last year - Other good things always came along and stopped me from planning anything. But part of me knew that this was something I needed to do, and if I didn't I would always dream of the 'what if'.
It's really great to have someone in your life who pushes you to break free of the boundaries you set for yourself. We all have reasons for setting these in the first place; the way you were brought up perhaps, or to protect yourself. But without Justin I can say that it is highly likely I would not have done this trip. And I am so grateful for him. Sometimes you have an idea and a plan, and nothing comes of it - not unlike all the years I dreamed of traveling and it didn't work out. And other times things just start rolling and you can't even pinpoint why this time is different. That's what happened to me last year, and before I knew it I had quit my job and packed my life into a suitcase. Facing the results of this decision now that I am home are a bit daunting, but I will never regret it, and I am an improved person for it. I am more myself now. More of who I always knew I was.
Living in London and traveling was of course amazing. All the sites and touristic things are just as you imagine they will be when you watch travel programs on TV and look at pictures from your friend's vacations. But this past year was so much more than learning how people in the UK live, and getting stamps in a passport. It was about proving I could do all the things I dreamed of, and I could come back home a better version of myself for it. Removing myself from my normal routine and familiar surroundings has taught me what my strengths and weaknesses are, and what I need to do to be a better person.
I hope that I can apply what I have discovered through out the rest of my life. I hope I don't every let myself get consumed by the bubble we so often find ourselves suffocated by. I don't think I need to keep living abroad to remember these lessons, I just think I need to keep the broader perspective I have gained and apply it to wherever I am. I'm very happy to be home and close to those that I love, and I feel privileged to have so many people in my life who care about me as much as I do them.
I look forward to seeing you all before we head to Edmonton for our next year long adventure.
Gen
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