When we started this blog, shortly after our move
to London, it was basically just a way for us to jot down the happenings of our
days and our thoughts on the new surroundings. We wanted to be able to tell our
parents what was going on without having to tell the same stories over and
over. We also thought it would be nice to have a record for ourselves, although
to be honest I haven't re-read any of it, perhaps when I'm old...er.
Since it
started as a travel blog I've sort of neglected it since we've been back to
Canada, apart from a brief resurgence in Australia. However, now that we've had
Eli I feel like I might regret not making note of this stage in our lives,
again only for myself really, I make no assumptions this will entertain many
others, except maybe you Mom.
It's not as if our lives have gotten any more
consistent since returning from the UK, we have lived in a few cities all over
the country since then so there are still stories to tell. Who knows, maybe
some day Eli will be interested in our lives at this point, although I'm not so
delusional as to think that will be any time soon. I can't say I took much
interest in my own parents lives before they had me until I was around 25. Kids
are so self centered, or was that just me?
So, we had
a baby, a pretty cute one too I'd say. It wasn't by accident, entirely. Gen
seemed to think it could take years and insisted we start trying before our
trip to Australia. I really tried to convince her that wasn't a good idea, I
was pretty certain I knew how to make a baby. Luckily I wasn't the one sick in
bed for 3 beautiful days in Perth or doing a soda water pub crawl across the
better part of a drinking country. Like I said, he's pretty cute so I'm sure
she'll say it was worth it.
Becoming parents is obviously the biggest change
we've ever had in our lives, but it's not one that seems to be happening quite
as abruptly as Eli was born. I have a hard time seeing myself as a dad, and I
really don't feel any different. I'm starting to realize that all those dads
I've seen aren't as different as I used to think. It's just a bunch of dudes
with kids.
The biggest change so far has been the lost
spontaneity, gone are the days of a random night out or a spur of the moment
weekend getaway. Repetition is the new norm, which has been a shock for me, and
one that I'm still coming to terms with.
I'm genuinely happy to be a father, I've always
wanted a family and now is definitely the right time in our lives, so I don't
want it to sound like I'm not grateful for where we're at. I just think it's
worth noting that the rewards are subtle, long lasting and they are getting
greater each day, but the lifestyle changes were swift and relentless.
I think my favourite part of the experience so far
has been seeing Genevieve become a mother. I knew from the start that she had
excellent maternal instincts, even when we were young and irresponsible and
spending too many evenings (and early mornings) at Wings on Granville. She's
always had a good head on her shoulders and it's certainly one of the things
that attracted me to her. She's very calm and patient with Eli, but she's
focused and driven enough not to be wishy washy with the things that need to be
done. She's informed and educated on every possible stage of his development,
but intelligent enough to trust her instincts when the literature is
conflicting (and it almost always is). She's also exceptionally loving and
completely selfless, which is probably what ties it all together. There's no
question the bulk of the workload falls on her shoulders, and there's honestly
not another person I think could do a better job raising my kid. It's a treat
to see her come into her own, I always knew she was made to do this.
She's actually started another blog for her
thoughts on motherhood so far if you haven't already seen it, cryitoutmom.blogspot.ca
-------------
Our
short attention spans and thirst for a challenge have seen us live in Edmonton,
Montreal and Saskatoon over the past 2 years. Needless to say there have been
highs and lows with this lifestyle choice. Edmonton gave us a chance to get
back on our feet after gallivanting around Europe, and allowed me to get my
foot in the door in the exploitation of natural resources industry. Montreal
offered Gen a chance to challenge herself in her career, and gave me the
opportunity to not be in Edmonton anymore. Saskatoon has allowed us to be
together as a family every night while Gen is on her maternity leave, which is
certainly not something I take for granted.
We might still be back in Montreal when
Genevieve finishes her maternity, but there's a chance that we won't, so I feel
now like that's just another memory rather than a continuing story. I have a
love/hate relationship with Montreal, in that I absolutely love the city but I
hate Quebec. I've already written a blog about why I don't like that province
so I won't get into it again. I do remember a funny thing I read somewhere that
said 'if it's something that we do here in Quebec that nowhere else in Canada
does, chances are it doesn't make any sense'. I feel that pretty much sums it up.
There are a great many things done only in Quebec, and I'd have to say the
majority of them are pretty stupid. Except of course selling beer in corner
stores.
From our front door there were no less
than 4 depanneurs within a 60 second walk to buy a case of beer, and within a 5
minute walk there was the beautiful 84 acre Parc Lafontaine and more bars and
restaurants than we could even scratch the surface of. It's hard for me to
admit since I absolutely loved Wimbledon and had a lot of good times in Mount
Pleasant in Vancouver, but our apartment in the Plateau was without question
the nicest home and neighbourhood we've lived in so far. The buildings were all
so beautiful and historic, and the area was relatively quiet but still seconds
away from as much nightlife as you could possibly handle. I really miss walking
out our front door and hopping on my board or a bixi bike and heading out into
the city, it really is a perfect example of urban density and just a treat to
explore.
As great as Montreal is, my favourite
thing about being there was still New York City. I'd been wanting to visit for
as long as I can remember so when we were within a 5 hour drive I took full
advantage and went 4 times. When a place is so prominent in TV and movies it's
nice to see it for yourself, and nowhere is more iconic than NYC. It's nice to
have preconceived notions about a place and then to go there and form my own
opinions and stories that the landmarks now remind me of. I really love big
cities, I feel like I absorb the energy and get a bounce in my step. I can
understand why people hate them, and I get the appeal of small towns and I love
wilderness and camping, but New York and London just make me feel like I'm in
the centre of the universe and anything I could possibly want is at my
fingertips. Often times I treat a new place like I'll never be back and try to
pack in everything I really want to see, but each trip to NY has been really
relaxed because I know I'll keep visiting until I'm too old to walk (probably
around 55 with my knees). There's still tons I haven't seen after 4 visits, I
can't wait to go back. Especially to skate through Manhattan again so if anyone
ever wants to go please let me know!
If you talk to anyone who's ever
planned a wedding, moved across the country or had a baby they can attest to
just how much work those things are, and they'd probably tell you doing all
three at the same time is idiotic. That just happened to be how the timing of
our lives played out at the end of 2014, and despite the madness it just seemed
like the best way to tackle each of these hurdles. We really wanted to have an
epic trip through Australia before starting a family, and we just snuck in
before the buzzer on that one. In order to do this we had to postpone the
wedding and the good Christian order of marriage and babies. On top of this, my
work presented an opportunity to be under the same roof during Eli's birth and
the first 6 months or so of his life. So despite the obvious mayhem of packing
up our lives and driving across the country while Gen was 8 months pregnant
that's precisely what we did.
I wouldn't recommend anyone attempt the
same thing, but I'm proud to say it all came together quite nicely. It was
definitely less luck than it was hard work and planning, but the relatively
stress free manner in which we tackled all 3 challenges gives me hope that
Genevieve and I might just make it.
-------------
I've sat back a very long time while
most people I knew visited Mexico numerous times because I always felt like it
was the kind of place I would just end up getting to without any particular
effort, you know like a really great last minute deal would come along, or we'd
get invited to a wedding down there. When it got time to plan our own wedding
and neither of us had been to Mexico yet it seemed like a pretty easy decision.
If you want something to happen you just have to do it yourself.
We toyed with the idea of a wedding on
the island, or the Okanagan, or Alberta, or even Montreal, but with all of our
friends and family so spread out it didn't seem right to pick any one spot and
have everyone else travel. Plus who really wants to take time off work and
spend a bunch of money to weekend in Calgary. A destination wedding seemed like
the lesser of all evils, which is of course an excellent attitude to have
regarding your nuptials.
We've gotten
pretty good at planning our own vacations but planning one for 45 people was a
little daunting. It's not easy to
balance between the budgets and expectations of a bunch of different people.
After an exhausting amount of research and broken English correspondence with
various resorts we settled on the Grand Bahia Principe Coba. We had the Mayan
Riviera picked because we wanted to be able to do some snorkeling, visit
cenotes and see some Mayan ruins. It was our wedding after all so we chose
the location for ourselves. The resort was middle of the road price wise, so
with that in mind I was absolutely impressed with how nice it was. Yes, it was
large, but for a wedding group of nearly 50 people I think it was perfect to
have such a variety of options as far as food, drinks, entertainment and
swimming. While communication with the resort as far as planning the wedding
and accommodating our group was strained leading up to the date when it came
down to the wedding day it went flawlessly. We took care of almost every little
extra so I hesitate to give too much credit away, but between us and the resort
it all came together as well as I could have possibly expected.
The great part about the wedding was
that it wasn't just about the wedding. There were 6 other amazing days we got
to spend in paradise with so many close friends and family. From the group trip
we all took to the ruins in Tulum, lounging in a cenote and snorkeling in
a cave on the first day, to the last day in Akumal Bay swimming with sea
turtles and sting rays, each day was an incredible memory. I can't possibly put
into words how amazing it is to be able to wander around a resort and casually
bump into your parents, your best friends, your siblings, or any number of
other people you know. I knew it was going to be a good time but I didn't
anticipate just how great it would feel to be so close to so many people and
just enjoying drinks by the pool. It was probably amplified by the fact that
we've been living so far away from everyone for so long.
If anyone reading this knows someone on
the fence about a destination wedding please encourage them to do it because
beyond all the logistics is a week vacation with the people closest to you and
that was worth everything and more.
Obviously we were a little anxious about how Eli would handle it all. We had already driven with him to Calgary and flown him to the island at 6 weeks, but a foreign country was another beast. We were on top of his passport from day one, literally, but between waiting for hospital forms, birth certificates and being out of province for so long it came down to a road trip to the passport office in Victoria around Christmas and a little baby passport arriving in Saskatoon a week before leaving. Things would've been interesting had that gone sideways. Eli is an excellent flyer, though everyone tells us the worst flights are yet to come, so we'll reserve final judgment on that one for later. It was nice have him experience a week of warm air, and the pool sure put a big smile on his face. He also looked very dapper on the wedding day, in my opinion your parents wedding is something all children should experience.
----------
Living in places like Vancouver,
Montreal, and by an outrageous margin London, you tend to grow a little weary
of tourists. Of course I often am one so I don't generally get annoyed, but I
can say that London taught me to keep walking through people's photo ops
because you'd never get anywhere stopping for them all. My point is, here in
Saskatoon there are no tourists, and it has made me appreciate that if you are
fortunate enough to live in a city so spectacular that people vacation there a
few selfie sticks are a small price to pay.
When I first came to Saskatoon for work
I didn't buy a car so my accommodation options were limited to what was walking
distance from the bus that drives out to the mine. I also wanted to be close to
the skate park, which left me staying in the exceptionally sketchy part of
town. Some of the people I saw, the garbage covered yards, the seemingly
abandoned but actually occupied run down houses, the disgusting grocery stores
and the constant police activity, it was almost comical. I just had to keep
telling myself I didn't really live here, it's just work. Saskatoon's downtown
west end is no place to call home.
So when we decided Genevieve was going
to join me in Saskatoon I bought a second car for us and my perception of the
city changed quite a bit. The place we're in now is close to the river in a
quiet neighbourhood full of parks and schools, which I guess is all that
matters now isn't it. Saskatoon is a good sized city, it's big enough that
you've got all the amenities but small enough to be friendly and livable.
Nothing is more that 15 minutes away, driving of course. There is no walking in
the prairies, and I learned that the hard way the first few months. Trying to
navigate between strip malls on foot is a fools errand, and not buying that car
on day one is one of the biggest regrets of my life. They toy with the idea of
bike lanes in the local papers, pretending like they're a real city, and there
are nice paths along the river, but the reality is this place is a miserable
frozen tundra for a solid 6 months and only those on welfare or with a DUI are
actually without a car.
Saskatoon and Edmonton are quite
similar, they're industrial prairie towns with a river and jobs and a brutal
winter. For some reason I like Saskatoon a whole lot more though, I think
because it's smaller I expect less so I find myself pleasantly surprised by
anything positive, whereas Edmonton was mostly disappointing. I forget
sometimes that this place is the biggest city in Saskatchewan, I've found
myself in conversations mentioning how small it feels to someone from, say,
Ituna, SK (Population: 711). It's easy to forget that for a lot of people
coming to Saskatoon was movin' on up to the big city. I can't imagine living in
one of those prairie towns 2 hours from anything in every direction with only a
farm supply store and a gas station/pub/grocery store all in one. Having
said that, I genuinely have appreciated getting to know this part of the
country, it's given me a lot more perspective and a broader sense of what
Canada really is. Don't get me wrong, I fucking hate these winters, but I feel
like a more complete Canadian having lived a couple. When someone tells me they
prefer these cold clear winters to a mild and damp one in BC I will now know
they are lying through their teeth or delusional.
When your coworkers are from all across
the country a typical question is 'where are you from' and for the last 3 years
I've had the hardest time answering that simple question. It's a very strange
feeling, even now with my current job very nearly finished I honestly don't
know where we will be in 2 months, but more than likely it won't be where we are
now, and that's an incredibly unsettling feeling. There's a bit of excitement
to it as well, but overall it can be mentally draining.
Obviously this has come
about by deliberate choice, and I don't think I'd have done much differently if
I could, but I do sometimes wonder if it's worthwhile. It's certainly hard to
be away from family now that we've got Eli, and I know Genevieve is desperate
to go out for dinner and drinks with a friend. I've also been pretty jealous of
all my friends skateboarding together all spring, the few chances I get to do
that have been solo the past few years. But then I think about what we've
gained; travel, a wedding, too much baby stuff, a sweet '05 Civic, general
financial comfort. We've been able to create some amazing memories because of
this kind of work. It's not to be taken for granted, but there have been
sacrifices for sure. It's a delicate balance, and I'm not totally sure which
way it's going to teeter next.
